You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
