so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wish there were birth control emojis
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I party with great urgency now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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