Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
