sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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