Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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