If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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