Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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