I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
