You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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