I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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