oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
