my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
