Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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