Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
