a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
