this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
