Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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