dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
