Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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