dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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