So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
