this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
