I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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