oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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