i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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