You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize