It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
