try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
