Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
