I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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