I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
