So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
