I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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