doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize