I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
