I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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