did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
