Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
