Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
