I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
