Dual....:-)
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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