wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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