i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
