you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i think im in europe. pls send help
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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