His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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