Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
