All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
