she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
