apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
