You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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