So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
