Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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