I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
