when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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