So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
