my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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